… to Riker getting his old chap out on the holodeck

This week marks the 30th anniversary of Star Trek: The Next Generation warping onto television screens stateside.  You might have seen some of the blanket coverage of it across the internet, helpfully coinciding with the launch of Star Trek Discovery on streaming services.

Since everyone else and their cat is celebrating with think pieces about TNG’s legacy, or podcasts discussing Farpoint and their love of the show, here’s something a little different.

Back in the long-ago days of The Thumbcast, we did a little experiment.  A much hyped Star Trek TNG porn parody had just been released, one of a wave of weirdly accurate pop-culture heavy XXX parodies that popped up (if you’ll excuse the expression) around that time.

The publicity images and even a cursory glance at the first couple of seconds of the film revealed that the producers had chucked a tonne of nerd-friendly gold pressed latinum at making it even more on fleek, as the kids say, than your usual parodies.

For years I’d always joked that 9 Songs would be a fantastic concert film if only it wasn’t for all the tiresome shagging between Gruey and her out The Trip.  So the TNG XXX porn parody seemed to offer a good opportunity to test that theory, especially since I was doing some part time video editing at the time.

So, one copy of the film, one copy of Final Cut Express and a couple of hours later, what was really clear was that the producers had basically made a very pretty, largely coherent, heavily in-continuity fan film, that just happened to have quite a bit of shagging in between important bits of plot.

They’d even bussed in a legit Patrick Stewart lookalike, who would go on to appear in a far less raunchy fan film in the same role.

So, we found the right font, stuck a slightly modified version of the TNG titles on it, stuck it on Youtube and everything went insane.  The video got about 50,000 views in a few hours and the nerd press started writing about it.

Alas, it would be shortlived, as the producers whacked it with a Youtube takedown for breaching copyright, apparently ignoring the irony of parodying their parody.

But once the heat died down, we stuck it back up.  So, here it is.

Happy birthday The Next Generation. Have a hell of a party.

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